breakfast cuppin' cakes

it’s january. time for resolutions and sh*t. i don’t have any resolutions but i do have goals. one of them is to get through one solid year, one solid stretch of three-hundred-and-sixty-five days without another running injury. i plan to meet this goal by being stronger than i’ve ever been. i’m going to do so many single leg squats and planks that my eyes are going to go crisscross and i’ll be running 8 miles like i’m making a sandwich.

i also think 2014 is the year when i’m going to learn to eat. good gracious, is this hard…

for example, last night in a moment of inspiration, i decided to make some breakfast oatmeal things that i baked in cupcake liners in a muffin tin. so i guess we’ll call them breakfast cuppin’ cakes. this morning as i grabbed one from the fridge to take the work, i handed one to the badger. he took it and as he was eating it said something like “but is it healthy? it has oats in it…”

i had no idea how to answer that question.

i have been barraged with so much information over the past few years about what ‘healthy’ is. and the information i get is often times contradictory to whatever it is i just heard from some other very reliable source. the thing is, i love food. i love how i feel when i’m creating something in my kitchen. there is nothing more enjoyable to me than making a pie from scratch. i love sharing meals with my husband, my parents, my kids, my friends, my neighbors… but all of this information has begun to twist and torment this love of mine so that i honestly don’t know how to love my love anymore.
  • don’t eat grains! grains are the devil! here, have this half-pound of bacon and wash it down with a burger, sans-bun… now make sure you don’t do any long cardio workouts. just push a bunch of heavy sh*t around. like a big fat tire. yeah, get somebody to dispose of a bulldozer tire in your backyard and then just push it around.”
  • “don’t eat bacon! have you ever seen a pig running free in the wild? why would you murder them, you glutinous murderer!!!”
  • don’t consume any dairy! we’re the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another animal! totes gross!”
  • “drink milk! in fact, get it whole fat, unpasteurized, in a BPH-free glass jar, within 30 miles of your mailing address. in fact, if you can just hook your lips straight up to a cow’s teet, that would be best.”
quite often, i'm left standing in the grocery store or my kitchen not knowing at all what to do. should i buy the organic, locally sourced bacon, or the bag of whole, gluten-free rolled oats? soy-free organic earth balance, or butter? almond butter or peanut butter?


i’ve dabbled with paleo. it was fun, what, with the bacon and all. but i found it really hard to convert my family of four completely into eating paleo. when the kids were eating crusty, oozy grilled cheese sandwiches, homemade macaroni & cheese with that crispy parmesan breaded topping, and artisan bread toasted and slathered with peanut butter… good gracious, i just couldn't keep those demons in check.  i did notice that i felt quite a bit better at first with paleo. less bloating, less funky stomach issues. but since re-introducing grains, i’ve noticed that i eat less of them and more of the whole/homemade versions of them and i feel just fine. i know there are people out there who are allergic to gluten. i’m just not sure that i’m one of them.

i was a vegetarian/almost vegan for years as well, back in the mid-2000’s (and we all know how awesome those years were). but soy products and tofu, frankly, scare the sh*t out of me now. i can’t pronounce half of the ingredients in a package of tofu and my hormones in my mid-30’s are whacko enough that i don’t need to heap a bunch of soy on top of that lovely problem.

i’m currently leaning more towards the realm of eating real, whole foods. minimal packaging. local when possible. whole and unprocessed 90% of the time. and if it does come in a box/bag/package, there should be no more than 5 ingredients in it, i should know what every ingredient is and why it’s in there. for example, i can make bread at home using 4 ingredients. why does bread at the store have, like, four-hundred-and-ninety-two ingredients? gross.

with all of that said (and really, i should blog more because when i only blog once every other month, i just have way too much to say), here’s the recipe for the breakfast cuppin’ cakes. i don’t have any idea if they are healthy. honestly. i don’t.

breakfast cuppin’ cakes
based loosely on this

you will need:
a muffin tin
some paper liners
2 1/2 cups old fashioned rolled oats
1 1/4 cup “binder” of your choice (not one of these) *see note*
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 Tablespoons maple syrup
1 1/3 cup unsweetened/plain almond milk (or any milk. dairy? non-dairy? f*ck. i don’t know anymore.)
1/8 cup coconut oil (melted butter or other mild oil will work)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup of your choice of add-in’s (chocolate chips, cranberries, shredded coconut, nuts, etc. i wouldn't do anything like feathers or pencil erasers, but you get the drift.)

* note on “binders” – here are all of the things you can use as a binder in a recipe like this:
a “flax” egg (1 “flax” egg = 1/4 cup)
a real egg (1 egg = 1/4 cup)
pumpkin puree
mashed banana
i did a combination of real egg and pumpkin puree to get to 1 1/4 cups of a binder.

combine it all. spoon into the 12 muffin tins. bake at 375 for 20 minutes. let me know what you think.


  1. I found this so interesting that b4 I knew it, while reading it I finished the whole d*mn tub of Cool Whip I was holding.
    Your Mom

  2. Oh, Dad saw the picture and wondered if this means you're contemplating a conversion to Islam.

    1. well, i don't believe i was facing the sun...

  3. Your cuppin' cakes were a hit in our house! Kids LOVE them! I did make them with (non-GMO ;) ) mini chocolate chips! So good! I'm pretty much on your same food with our family's eating now.... not completely because life just wouldn't be as fun :). Love 100 days of real food and my whole food life and so on and so forth. We get our beef and pork from a grass fed farm and are loving it! (An aside, my brother is a part time farmer! They have a small grass fed, "organic" (not certified because it's too much) farm where we grew up in NY!) Anyway, thanks for a new recipe and your fun writing! -Melissa

    1. i am so glad you guys tried them and liked them!


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