i think i'm ready. i think it's time. i've been in an abusive and one-sided relationship for a long time, and i've put up with the abuse long enough. i am breaking up with my scale. it is nothing but a liar and a mechanical beast which robs me of all options for joy on any given day. "sorry, scale. it's not you. it's me."
5:15am. alarm goes off for my booty call. no, not the kind of booty call you're thinking of, more the kind of booty call these girls are talking about. a good ole fashioned a.m. sweat fest with kj2. i turned the alarm off and laid there for a few minutes trying to figure out if i was actually going to get up. i did.
i'm just warning you. i'm crabby, super down on myself, and don't want to talk about it. i mean, i've said it here, so i've obviously opened the door a little bit for an explanation. all i'm gonna say is this: the badger basically breathes air and loses 4 pounds in a week. i work my ass off at the gym and change my eating habits, and i gain weight. it's not fair.
you know that air supply song "even the nights are better"? that song is fucking bullshit as soon as you have children. your nights aren't better. your nights are a terror. a constant guessing game of whether you'll actually sleep, or be kept up all night by the children birthed from your loins. i guess this is the price you pay to continue the human race - you will never sleep again.
remember that 6am run i was supposed to do? didn't happen. but it's not my fault. the badger was up most of the night sick and at some dark hour in the night/early morning, he asked me to stay home this morning to help with the kids. i'm starting to feel like we need to move to california just to dry out and stop being sick all the time.
it's been a few days. i don't have anything thrilling or life-changing to say, but maybe that's just my impression of my own thoughts, and all ya'll think that the words that pour out of my mouth are thrilling and life-changing. doubtful.
the last time i did anything remotely resembling an athletic activity was 6 weeks ago. so today, i decided it was time to shake off the cobwebs and get my floppy ass to the gym, since it's god-forsaken cold in minnesota right now and i do not run in temperatures below 10 degrees. my intention was to hit up a treadmill for 2-3 miles of walking or running. but everyone else's new years' resolution apparently trumped my morning plan.