difficult things.

it's funny.

when you eat real food, you want to keep eating real food because you fill up really fast and aren't that hungry between meals.

when you eat sh*t, you want to keep eating sh*t. and after eating the sh*t, you feel like sh*t. you are hungry/irritable/depressed and mad at yourself for eating sh*t. and in my case of astounding mental stability, those loathsome feelings just send me right back to the chocolate bucket, bag of chips, can of cancer-laced soda, pint of beer, etc. (aka "sh*t")...

it's a vicious cycle. but according to ben, it's just gotta break somewhere. break one chain of the vicious cycle and the rest will fall into place somehow.

after struggling for now upwards of 8 months with an unjust and quite heinous case of runners knee, i'm back out there running. i have my genius of a physical therapist to thank for this. so as i've started to get back out there in my brooks', i'm noticing that the can of diet soda doesn't really feel so good flopping around in my belly and hey-you-moron-don't-you-know-what's-in-that-sh*t-anyway-so-knock-it-off.

so i'm trying to clean up my eating habits. the two always go hand-in-hand for me, running and good clean livin'. which means when i'm running, i lose weight pretty easily. and when i'm not running, you'll find me drinking a lot of beer, eating a lot fo sh*t, and packing on pounds.

my knee is getting better, but it's not 100% healed yet. i miss going for those 'easy 4 milers' after work. but i am not there yet and won't be for some time still. but i am determined to fix this. so we'll get there. we will. i've come this far already.

"difficult things take a long time to accomplish. impossible things take a little bit longer..."

onwards and upwards and keeping my face out of the chocolate bucket,
ashley