pancakes that won't make you cry

i'm not sure what it is, but pancakes have always somewhat alluded me. they are so delicious, yet so devastatingly difficult to get right (an award goes out to the person who counts the number of d’s i use in this blog post. what is my deal today?! there’s another one!). the first time i made pancakes, much like the first time i made pie dough, i wound up in tears. they burned to a crisp and resembled mini-frisbees. then when i turned down the heat, they wouldn’t cook and slipped all over the skillet into bizarre shapes that didn't even come close to resembling pancakes.
but pancakes? you allude me no more.

the trick is to be patient when it comes to the heat. if you don’t know me, patience is not one of my strong suits. but i can be patient with pancakes because there is such a huge payoff (deliciousness in your tummy). your pan needs to be hot, but not so hot that it burns the butter you use to grease the pan. and yet, if the pan isn’t hot enough, the pancake batter will run all over the place, and you’ll wind up in tears, just like i did the first few times.
despair-free pancakes

you will need:
first off, it's probably the morning because you are attempting to make pancakes. so put on a pot of coffee for crying out loud. personally, i'm partial to the equal-exchange-yellow-bag love buzz blend. but do as you wish.

1 cup ap flour (ap = all purpose)
1 cup ww flour (ww = whole wheat... aren't i cute?)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup sugar-in-the-buff (raw or turbinado sugar. if you have the plain white stuff, that’s fine too. but shame on you. do you know what’s in that sh*t?)
2 Tablespoons wheat germ
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 Tablespoons earth balance or butter (if you use unsalted butter, up the salt in the recipe to 3/4 teaspoon)
2 cups kefir (or 2 1/2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar plus enough milk to make 2 cups. let it sit until good and curdled. it should scare you slightly. that's how you'll know it's ready.)
1 cup milk (cow, almond, soy, etc.)

2 large eggs, whisked

whisk your dry ingredients together in a large bowl. set aside.preheat your oven to 170 (or whatever the lowest temperature is on your oven).

in the pan you intend to use for your pancakes , melt the 2 Tablespoons of butter. pour the melted butter into a glass mixing bowl, and add the remaining wet ingredients. whisk!
run into the living room to pull your 17 month old son off of the back of the couch from which he is precariously dangling. return to the kitchen.
make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ones. combine together, but don’t fret too much about the lumps. they will cook up and out, and over-mixing pancakes can make them tough. so don’t do it.

now, while your pancake batter is resting, head on over to your stove. turn up the heat to medium, medium-high ish. place the pan you melted the butter in over the heat and let it warm up. add a bit more butter to grease the process and once the butter melts and shimmers, it's time to batter up! i use a mini-ladle, but a regular ladle that is half-full would work fine. dollop (i LOVE that word) the batter onto the hot pan, and walk away.

well, okay. don't really WALK away. but leave it alone. you want there to be bubbles all over the top of the pancake, and the edges to just start to pull away from the pan. that's when it's time to flip! and flip ye mightily.

this would also be a good time to check on the 17 month old twins and make sure that they aren't destroying your house and/or each other.

the pancakes will not need to cook as long on the second/flipped over side. once done, put onto an oven safe plate and pop into your warm oven. proceed with the rest of your batter and enjoy.

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