after the antibiotics fuck you up.

if you don't like complaining, skip this post entirely. or at least scroll down until the shitty food pictures start.

dudes. i've been sick for 6 weeks. it's not an exaggeration. i headed to urgent care on december 27th because i had been sick since thanksgiving and finally had to admit that i couldn't breathe, and received my first nebulizer treatment as an adult. i also got a round of antibiotics and prednisone and a slap on the ass to the tune of "well, rest up, drink water, and feel better!" i was hoping for the best. meaning, i was really hoping to get well. then this past weekend, i began having unproductive coughing fits and a very unattractive wheeze. so, i headed off to my asthma doctor on monday (as previously described in colorful detail). which brings us now to today, on day three of the meds he gave me: z-pak and prednisone. and oh my god, i am in fresh hell.

i woke up last night with the most debilitating headache i've had since the meningitis saga of 2011. i was in tears from the pain, and the 3 ibuprofen and 1 extra strength tylenol that i slammed into my throat in the darkness of the night didn't even touch it. at one point, the badger said "do you need to go to the hospital?" to which i responded with "not yet..." and started googling "prednisone headache" (found out that they typically prescribe prednisone to stop headaches... moving on...), "z-pak reaction", "z-pak headache" and found streams of internet forums with people complaining that they got debilitating headaches from this shit, as well as heart palpitations and arrhythmia, confusion and loss of time, mood swings and thoughts of suicide, loss of appetite, taste and smell, massive bouts of diarrhea and abdominal pain and swelling, urinary tract infections... basically, the best parts of the old testament all wrapped up into a 5-day blister pouch of zithromycin.

i then remembered back to the pharmacist giving me the z-pak and pulling me aside:

"now, you've been on z-pak before?"

"yes, sir."

"and... you didn't have any problems?"

"nope! just give me my meds!"

"alright lady, but you asked for it..."

that last sentence is made up, but it does seem to me like maybe somebody somewhere knows how toxic this shit is but it's still getting pushed on people.

if you're still reading, hang on. the rant is almost over.

anyways. i was up all night with a migraine from the bowels of hell. around 7am, i was able to caffeinate and medicate myself off the edge of pain, but still stayed home from work as i was in no shape to function under florescent lighting and idle chit chat with cube mates.

anyways. you're gonna see food pictures from today, but i promise you - i tasted nothing. everything tasted like bland cheerios. or worse - bland lucky charms. like, you know how amazing this spoonful of marshmallow, crunchies and pink milk will be once you get it in your mouth, but then you take a bite and it just takes like, well, like (the) nothing.

"what?! you can't taste your food?!" 

breakfast. i figured if i was gonna be fighting off a med-induced migraine all day, i may as well eat. i think this may have been delicious? but i'm not sure. i made a protein pancake from one scoop of sunwarrior vanilla vegan protein powder, 1 egg, and a mushed up banana. i poured it into a hot pan with some coconut oil and while it was cooking, i toasted up some walnuts and unsweetened coconut. i also threw some greek yogurt on top of it for an added probiotic boost. cause, you know, antibiotics fucking suck.

maybe it was good?

lunch was leftover paleo pad thai:

i added a metric fuck ton of siracha to this, hoping to taste at least even that.
nope. nothing. even the water tasted like a lonely abyss.

i thought about having a snack, but the thought of not tasting yet another calorie was too sad. and i wasn't really hungry. so i just kept whining to the badger about how awful i felt and drank some abysmal water instead.

dinner was probably amazing? but again, i have no clue:

apple carrot sausage hash with 2 over-medium eggs.

and then, to make matters worse, i decided to have this just now. i sort of made this recipe up (by combining a lot of others from the internet). it's a protein powder based brownie recipe. i have no idea if it's good so i'll have to wait to share the recipe until i get some taste back in my mouth... maybe in 2016.

i feel nothing.

so whatever is going to become of me now? i got ahold of my asthma doctor and gave him the run down. when he heard of my headache event, he said "did you go to the ER?" when i said no, he seemed disappointed. he also politely agreed that i'm having some kind of reaction to the z-pak, and switched me to something else that i have to go and spend more money on tomorrow. because he heard me have a coughing fit on the phone (well played, ashley) and said "wow, you're really not any better yet, are you?".

i'm really sick of being sick. really. i feel like if i could muster up the energy to get on a treadmill for a little run/walk, it'd probably help me feel better, boost my immunity, and get some of this shit out of the bases of my lungs.

until tomorrow,

ashley "you think this is bad? wait until february." rebekah