your lunch really smells.

so this will be my attempt to tell the truth about how much sh*t i really eat.

seriously, it's terrifying.

i know i've been all like "hey guys! we're totally paleo and friggin' loving it and we feel amaze-balls and never eat any bread/wheat/pasta/sugar and aren't you jealous and don't you want to be just like us and we're so strong and thin and caveman-like that we're swinging from trees?!" etc.

but the truth is, i really do eat quite a bit of sh*t. and it's got to stop.

i still haven't gotten into a regular running routine because my knee is still 'weak'. i wouldn't say that it's necessarily painful, but i feel twinges of my old "bad" running form and weak core sneak into the picture when i try to run too many miles at once or do speedwork at all. so my workouts are typically pretty easy, 2-3 miles, 20-30 minutes, and that's about all i can handle right now.

when you combine weaksauce workouts with trying to eat paleo but also eating too much sh*t, well, i'm just not happy with how i look or how i feel.

i usually start the day off on the right foot. glass of water, mug of dark, black coffee, and then a 2-3 egg omelet with tons of veggies and no cheese. this usually keeps me full until lunch around 12:30. and if i can steer clear of the junk food between 8am - 12:30 p.m., i'm usually pretty empowered to make a good decision for lunch. protein, lots of veggies, sparkling water from the soda stream, etc. on a typical day, right around 2pm, i start hitting up the cubes at work that i know have candy bowls, or i go scrounging in the copy room for leftovers from some meeting (what? a plate of brownies? of course i need to eat one of those! free potato chips from panera? why, that is just the most perfect thing ever!).

on a bad day, i skip that omelet breakfast entirely because i'm either lazy or get pulled into something that i like to think is important at work, and by 9am i'm hitting up the candy bowls or grabbing a packet of oatmeal because it's quick and WHAT THE WHAT? OATMEAL ISN'T PALEO!

i know.

but this kind of a day only goes downhill from here. by 10am, i am salivating with hunger and rage and shoveling dove dark chocolates into my face as well as some york peppermint patties (i know exactly which co-worker keeps a healthy supply of these) and then lunch is usually okay, but i am already in the downward spiral of sugar guilt and by 2pm, yet again, i'm throwing my face into the candy bowls and am so tired and crabby that i want to eat and/or kill everything in sight.

oh my god.

this has to stop. so today is my attempt to start telling the truth about what i really eat. i am determined to make it at least one day without eating sh*t. here we go:

breakfast
2 cups of coffee, black
2 egg omelet with lots of veggies, no cheese

mid-morning snack
paw of roasted, salted almonds. this was pure boredom eating. i didn't even really want them.
2 oz. of a 'bumble baby' (homemade granola bar of sunflower and sesame seeds, honey, almond butter and coconut). this was f*cking delicious and i don't regret it at all.

lunch
salad of spinach, turkey, beets, mixed greens, carrots, broccoli, 1 hard-boiled egg and some red wine vinegar. i put some blue cheese on it because i wanted to. someone came into my cube and said "your lunch really smells". how are you supposed to respond to something like this?
i also had another paw at that 'bumble baby'.

and here it is, 2:30 p.m., and i'm ready to throw my face into a candy bowl. but i'm going to go and get my full-fat greek yogurt from the fridge with honey and strawberries and eat that instead. and maybe some more bumble baby.

keepin' this sh*t real, yo',
ashley