1.26.2015

after. day twenty-fucking-two.

i'm just warning you. i'm crabby, super down on myself, and don't want to talk about it. i mean, i've said it here, so i've obviously opened the door a little bit for an explanation. all i'm gonna say is this: the badger basically breathes air and loses 4 pounds in a week. i work my ass off at the gym and change my eating habits, and i gain weight. it's not fair.

6:15am. the children woke up and were fairly self-sufficient for once. i believe this to be because we had a talk with them last night about their morning routine; about how they can get up in the morning, go into their playroom or go to the kitchen for a snack, how they don't need us for every little thing, etc. they seemed to listen. however, zeke came into the room at 6:15 this morning to say "mom? i just want you to know that we're going into our playroom and we aren't going to bother you at all. okay?" oh, zeke. we're so close to nailing this thing.

#progressnotperfection

7:30am. breakfast before leaving for work:
protein pancake! with pecans and coconut! eeeeeee!

10:30am. snack. i completely massacred this orange. i am really bad with citrus. i believe one of my boyfriends in college broke up with me because he said the way i peeled oranges was "really gross". or maybe he broke up with me because i once opened a bottle of gatorate at a gas station and took a sip before paying for it and he said it "embarrassed" him? i was so heart broken when he did finally break up with me in a very ruthless and devastating way - in the parking lot of a motel 6 the night before i was leaving for summer break (sounds like a great start to an awesome country song...). at the time i blamed the oranges and the gatorade for my heartbreak. if i had only been good at peeling oranges! if i only hadn't opened that gatorade! but now i can see that i should've probably broken up with him way before the parking lot incident of '98. hindsight is blind. or 20/20. or something. where were we? oh yes. snack:
i will still hungry after eating this.

12:30pm. lunch.
leftover black bean soup with leftover pork carnitas.
i also ate a small salad.

1:30pm. not pictured: a cup of chicago mix popcorn. i don't even like this foul shit. cheese, caramel and salted popcorn all together in a germ-covered plastic bag the size of a pitbull? whoever thought this was a good idea? obviously, everyone who works at target headquarters because i swear that shit is at every meeting, and then for 4 days after the meeting it sits in the common space on the floor like the forgotten stepchild. in summary, i don't know why i ate it.

2:00pm. i was really hungry. i ate this.
i ate it all.

i headed to my strength training class around 4:30. it was really sweaty and really hard (that's what she said). i keep hoping that this class is gonna get easier. but so far, i'm still just fat and weak (see the first paragraph).

i got home around 5:30 and threw together dinner for everyone. the kids had homemade mac and cheese and the badger and i had this:
sweet potato hash. a couple of eggs. and a big salad.

it's 8pm. i just shoved 1/2 of a peanut butter rice krispy treat in my mouth and the children are in bed, but nowhere near asleep. i'm probably going to go look for some chocolate to cover up my feelings with and go to bed.

sincerely,
ashley "you win some, you lose some" rebekah

1 comment:

  1. Stick with it, I found it's better to measure inches in areas you are looking for improvement. At the beginning you will be gaining muscle and not seeing much on the scale for changes.

    ReplyDelete

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