after. day 21.

you know that air supply song "even the nights are better"? that song is fucking bullshit as soon as you have children. your nights aren't better. your nights are a terror. a constant guessing game of whether you'll actually sleep, or be kept up all night by the children birthed from your loins. i guess this is the price you pay to continue the human race - you will never sleep again.

nash has been sick since wednesday and last night was the worst (knock on wood, because we haven't lived through tonight yet). i attempted to give her some zarbee's all natural cough suppressant (basically honey, zinc, vitamin c and a small amount of melatonin). she gagged trying to swallow it, which i totally don't understand because she loves honey and to me it tasted exactly like honey? whatever. we had to con her into taking it by burying it in a glass of juice. she took it, and then proceeded to cough her way from 8pm until 11pm.

side bar: hey zarbees? you suck and your crappy natural remedies are expensive.

between 8pm and 11pm we intermittently gave her hits of alburterol for the wheezing and took her temperature, trying to determine if she was in true respiratory distress. at this time of the night, we weren't sure if a trip to the ER was worth the a) exposure to new germs and b) cost. finally at 11pm, we decided to just pull her into bed with me while john went and slept in the extra bedroom. at first, this seemed like a great idea... all mother-earth-hippie-loving-comfort. but then about an hour in, i realized it was a terrible idea, with her chronic coughing and dripping right next to me plus the chronic swift kicks to the lady bits.

at 12am, i picked her up and put her back in her own bed, assured that she was not in any kind of true respiratory distress. i shut her door, i shut my door, and went to sleep.

6:15am. "mom? nash isn't awake yet and i can't sleep." so zeke and i headed downstairs while nash slept off the events of last night and i got some coffee. we snuggled up together on the couch while i tried to figure out how to form consonants. the coffee helped.

7:15am. this was delicious. frozen banana. frozen pineapple. frozen avocado chunks. sunwarrior vanilla. unsweetened coconut flakes. a touch of coconut oil. and unsweetened almond milk.
i drink out of mason jars on a regular basis.
i'm such a hipster... except they all look hungry and i do not.

i got my shit together enough to head to church where i played and sang this morning. i stopped on the way to church for coffee and i totally didn't need to buy that donut, but i did.
... but then i thought about the fact that i was gonna have to take a picture of it
and tell you guys about it. so i ate half and threw the other half away.

as for playing and singing at church, i guess it went fine? but i was so exhausted and delirious that now, trying to recall it, i can't.

after church, i was really in the mood to blow my paycheck, so i headed to whole foods. seriously though, it's the closest option to us for good/local/organic produce, and compared to the prices at cub for organic produce, whole foods is actually cheaper. while there, i got this:
my left eyelid swells every time i drink kombucha. what is that about?

upon arriving home, i warmed up some lunch for everybody. zeke wanted oatmeal with strawberries. nash (now apparently full of energy and totally well) wanted pancakes. the badger wanted more carnitas. and i wanted a nap.
i fixed myself and the badger the same plate:
carnitas, lime-cilantro cauliflower "rice", with 2 eggs.
and some brussels sprouts.

after this, i got a nap. i hate napping, but i really needed it today. i slept for a good 90 minutes and woke up feeling like i had been hit by truck. but we had a friend coming over for dinner, so i had to get up and get with the program. so i got up and made cookies.
get in my belly. wait... don't.

i really love making homemade baked goods and treats. i say it's for the kids, and it about 90% is. i way prefer them to have homemade "junk" food versus cookies or candy or shit out of a box or bag from the store full of melted plastic and chemicals. but i also make them for me. because they're delicious. and i may have eaten a few more of these than i needed to.
i wish i could get her to eat kale as ravenously as she ate this cookie.
zeke washing down his 2nd cookie.

shannon came over for dinner and i made black bean "stoup" (stew + soup = stoup). this recipe has been shared between shannon and i a lot over the years. it's a favorite.

i'm so exhausted right now that i'm seeing double. and not in a good way.

ashley "good night" rebekah

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