after. day 19.

last night was a rough one at 1918.

nash has a cold. that's right, one of the four of us is sick, yet a-fucking-gain, which means we will all go down at the bow, one-by-one. the badger started getting sick, yet a-fucking-gain, with this awful upper respiratory shit on tuesday, and nash started in with it, yet a-fucking-gain, on wednesday.

2:00am. nash wanders into the room, nearly shrieking like she's on fire: "mom! i can't sleep, my nose won't stop running! make it stop!" i offered to put some vick's on her chest and nose, which she absolutely hates, and she screamed at a hysterical and almost inaudible decibel, "that's not what i asked you to do!"

good grief.

i told her to get a kleenex and come back and i'd help her blow her nose. so she did and i did and i put her back in bed. just as i was starting to drift back off to sleep, she came back into the room...

2:23am. "mom! it won't stop!" repeat the events of 23 minutes ago with offer/refusal of the vicks, the blowing of the nose, etc. this time the badger tucked her back into her bed and back to sleep i tried to fall...

2:40am. "okay mom. you can put some of that stuff on my nose." but instead of using vicks, i used the thieves oil concoction we've got sitting in our bedroom. i put it on her chest and just a bit under her nose (i have no idea if i'm doing this whole essential oil thing right. probably not.) and she goes "that's not nearly as bad as the other stuff." (meaning, vick's.) back to bed she goes...

3:00am. "mom? i can't sleep."

fuck the essential oils. it's time for the big guns before i lose my shit. i gave her a dose of tylenol.

she then finally fell asleep, but i now couldn't with the badger see-sawing and coughing/dripping next to me. in the nicest 4am voice i could muster, i asked him to go sleep somewhere else. where else that was, i didn't really care. i just needed some sleep.

so that was it until the hot toddler breath in my face at 6:30. so i guess i slept from 10:00pm until about 2:00am, then again from about 4:00am until 6:30.

you parents of little kids out there reading this blog, it's time for you to chime in. please tell me that this continued sickness and inability to get and stay well is common. kj2 asked me, in much nicer words than what i'm going to quote her as saying, "what the f*ck is wrong with you guys that you're sick all the time? other parents with kids aren't sick this much..." so tell me. what are we doing wrong? we wash hands, we eat kale, we hydrate, we shower semi-regularly, we don't allow the children to lick doorknobs or water faucets or other public petri-dishes. so is this normal, or do we all have the immunity of a college student with mono?

where were we? oh yeah. food and my day and blogging about my life. here we go.

7:00am. fridays are my days to weigh myself and take measurements. people. this did not go well for me at all. not only have i not lost a fucking pound this week, but my measurements are higher than when i last took them back in october. i guess maybe that's to be expected since i basically ate and drank my way through halloween. and thanksgiving. and the twins' birthday. and christmas. and new year. but seriously. i've worked out pretty hard 4 times this week and have eaten pretty good. so wtf? when i got super thin in college, i dropped like, 30 pounds between may and september, just by running! that's the equivalent of losing a cocker spaniel! i was 18 years old at the time, so maybe that's why it was easier, but come on. i did it again in my mid-20's when i ballooned up to over 210 pounds because i hated my life and i lost 50 pounds by running. so i know i can do it, so what's the problem? i'm starting to feel like i have some glandular disorder and i'm just always gonna be fat now.

this kind of thinking is not supposed to be part of my "after" mindset. so we'll wrap up the pity party now.

8:45am. breakfast at my desk:

leftover veggie-loaded frittata from last night.
and lemon in my water because i'm a fucking foodie.

10:45am. i really wanted a muffin. or a donut. or a big, gigantic, oozy drippy cinnamon roll with chocolate frosting. seriously - someone should invent this. a cinnamon roll with chocolate frosting. you would only be allowed to buy one once per month (and we all know when that would be), and you must pay cash so there is no record of the transgression. they would give you a blindfold and a pop-up tent to eat it in that would self-destruct when the chocolate-frosted-cinnamon-roll is fully consumed. ahh... wait, where were we? oh yes. when i'm tired, angry, and/or hormonal, i want sugar. i'm learning this about myself only now at 36. so instead of buying a cinnamon roll and a tub of duncan hines at target, i had this:
it was sort of the same as a chocolate cinnamon roll.
only not at all.

12:45pm. i had the lunch i brought for myself yesterday but didn't get to eat because i was running so late. i realized when i looked at the portion i packed for myself that it was huge. so i cut the container in half (not literally. i'm not a ninja...) and ate one half. and i was full and satiated. thank goodness i didn't eat the whole thing. maybe this is my problem? maybe i'm just eating too much?

leftover chicky-chicky-parm-parm and spaghetti squash.
more lemons in my water.

the rest of my day was pretty uneventful, save for almost losing my arm to metro transit lightrail. the doors closed on my fucking arm. ON MY FUCKING ARM. and the doors stayed semi-closed around my arm for a good couple of seconds. i do believe the train would've driven off with my right arm half-out-the-door. someone on the outside of the door hit the door-open button before it started to ramp up to leave the station. why i didn't think to do this, i don't know? i was kind of in shock that the door closed ON MY FUCKING ARM.

5:30pm. we took the kids out for pizza tonight to a neighborhood place that we love. i believe this was my first bready-carb and dairy of the whole week, and i'm completely ill right now. as if that wasn't enough, i topped it all off with some ice cream because this lil' neighborhood joint also offers sebastian joe's ice cream. and come on. it's the best. and it was delicious. but oh my god, i have the cow-dairy-sweats right now and need either to go throw up or take a cold shower. maybe both?

i'm going to spin/cycle class tomorrow for the first time in forever, simply because of the "damn right i look hot" from the this girl can video i posted earlier this week. and, my knees need a break from running for a few more days. any of you who have attended a spin/cycle class, what am i in for?

ashley "if there's a black lung for your intestines after eating dairy, i've got it" rebekah

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