5:15am. wake up call for my reunion with kj2 personal training. i had to pull the plug on my weekly workouts with her about 6 months ago due to financial constraints. but a few things have been paid off recently which has loosed the proverbial belt on our finances while the waistline on my pants has gotten tighter. so. back to kj2 i go! i woke right up with the alarm at 5:15, well-rested and ready to go (thank you melatonin) and tried to eat half a banana with peanut butter because i needed something in my stomach before working out. but i gagged so hard that i almost barfed. note for the future: a banana at 5am is a bad choice.
|this shit is bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.|
my workout with kj2 was great. it was more of a re-acquaintance workout, nothing too difficult. just a 'let's see how much you've lost in 6 months' kind of a thing. i think it went alright.
7:00am. back in the car driving home to shower and get ready for work. this was a bad decision. it took me 45 minutes to go 8 miles. i think next time i will shower and go to work straight from kj2's. that means a long day without seeing my babies, but i think they'll live. in the wise words of the badger, "we need to live our lives too." right on, badger. right on.
8:15am. at work and getting settled, only to shortly depart for an 8:30 meeting at caribou coffee with the-man-who-sired-my-children, because he forgot to bring their waterproof gloves back to our house after their visit with him last night.
8:30am. at the coffee shop and there he is, the-man-who-sired-my-children. we used to hang out at this caribou when we were dating and make plans for our weekend or evening, unencumbered by familial or, frankly, any other obligations. actually, more often than not, i was in tears at a corner table in this coffee shop because we were fighting yet again, over nothing and everything all at once and under my assaulting cries of "don't you want to spend time with me?" he would emotionally and physically disappear like a vapor. and then he got me pregnant, asked me to move in with him, started cheating on me and asked me to move out. but that's all, thankfully, becoming a very small piece of my story and doesn't own me as much as it used to. i got the best part of him when nash and zeke showed up in my life. so i really can't hate him all that much. still. it's very weird to meet in that same coffee shop and have a hand off of our mutual children's winter attire.
thank whoever-you-believe-in that God doesn't give us glimpses into our future. because we simply could not handle it. we would explode at the sheer weirdness of it all.
9:00am. i finally get around to eating breakfast. and here it is:
|that's a 3 egg omelette with tons of veggies, no cheese, and sriracha on top.|
after i took the picture, i added more sriracha. i like it hot. and by "it", i mean everything.
10:30am. starting to get the munchies. so i had a tropical kale smoothie from home:
|frozen pineapple. half a banana. kale. protein powder. coconut milk.|
i enjoyed drinking my smoothie while watching this video. i love this so much. it's so positive and affirming and courageous and honest and inspirational and... well, i just love everything about it. mostly because it affirms my hibbly-jibbly lady bits, which i've always had. i'm hibbly-jibbly now at one of my historically heavier weights, and i was hibbly-jibbly at my thinnest 155 pounds. and that's okay. i'm just gonna keep moving. because it makes me feel amazing and strong and it makes my insides feel like they are are on fire (in a good way, not, like, in an STD kind of a way), not because i hope to achieve some likely unattainable and narrow view of "beauty" (although i'd be lying if i said that wouldn't be nice... and i'm not a liar.)
11:30am. speaking of not being a liar, here's what i had for a snack, because the lunch room was way too crowded to warm up my lunch. and i don't really like people.
|screw you, organic navel orange. you had it coming.|
and no, i did not eat all these almonds.
|mug 'o salad. tupperware 'o leftover chicken with garlic & burst heirloom tomatoes...|
and spaghetti squash. because fuck you, pasta. you make me hibbly-jibbly.
3:00pm. this IM pops up on my screen, just prior to my 3:15 meeting:
"hey! i have a coupon for yogurt lab! wanna meet there at 3:15?"
frozen yogurt, thy name is ice cream. you aren't yogurt. you taste nothing like my plain, whole fat, probiotic-blessed greek yogurt. you are full of sugar and preservatives and you come out of a stainless steel dispenser with chemically-induced flavors and swirls and then there's a topping bar (ERMAGERRHD A TOPPING BAR) with everything from hot fudge to salted caramel sauce to cayenne pepper to flax protein powder (i shit you not) to crushed cookies and candies of every sort and fruit and nuts and granola and...
|i had some. but only some:|
birthday cake flavor with a smidgen of hot fudge, some reeses pieces and crushed oreos.
i did show some restraint in that i did not order the 'full house', which is every flavor plus every topping, and it costs $457.
within 30 minutes, i was ill. i would say lesson learned, but i fear that my relationship with frozen dairy products is far from over.
5:30pm. home from work and chef badger is cooking chicky-chicky-parm-parm for dinner! i realized tonight what a totally fucking control freak i am about the kitchen. i kept offering to help him, and at first i think he thought it was cute. but then i caught him kind of side-eyeing my attempts to help (read: take over) and i decided to pour myself a glass of wine and spend time with the kids instead of in the kitchen. i took the dirty children upstairs for baths and was exposed to nash's newest knock-knock joke repertoire:
nash: "knock knock!"
me: "who's there?"
me: "lamp who?"
nash: "lamp! turn the light on so we can see all the stars in here!!! <insert raoucous giggling>"
seriously. this kid is hilarious. if only for the reason that she cracks herself up.
7:00pm. dinner. this is later than we usually eat, because chicky-chicky-parm-parm is a bit labor intensive... but still delicious:
|chicky chicky parm parm over spaghetti squash.|
i'm supposed to get up and run with a bunch of neighborhood mama's at 6am tomorrow. wish me luck.
ashley "ain't nobody got time for that" rebekah